As of late there’s been a raging debate at the LSR office as to the merits (or lack there of) of Geist. Ian H., our steadfast and fearless Editor, has defiantly defended this game from its detractors (and there are many) at every opportunity. So to finally put things to rest, I’ve decided to write up a head-to-head review matching it up against a worthy competitor using an arbitrarily defined set of criteria. After careful thought and consideration, the comparable I’ve chosen was 7 ½ modest and lowly Timbits.
Why Timbits? Why just 7 ½? Well firstly, to even the field, I decided to pick something of comparable monetary value – and considering Geist’s street value (a whopping 94¢ CND) it was this or penny candy. With the cost of Timbits at 12¢ each, do the math and it works out to about 7.83. In the spirit of good competition, I rounded down to the nearest half (Geist will need all the help it can get).
So without further ado, lets meet the subjects of this review.
Geist
Developed by n-Space, it’s a first-person action/adventure game for the Gamecube released in 2005. You play the role of John Raimi a scientist turned ghost out to thwart an evil multi-national corporation. As a ghost, you have the ability to possess people and everyday objects that you manipulate to solve puzzles and defeat enemies. Upon release, it received lukewarm reviews.
Timbits
These cheap and cheerful little pastries are a popular treat at Canada’s largest coffee shop franchise Tim Hortons. Essentially, they’re the same “doughnut holes” or “doughnut balls” available in just about any coffee shop in North America.
So to determine the superior…er…thing, I’ll weigh the pros and cons of each using the charts below:
|
|
|---|---|
| Multiplayer Experience | |
| Con – It’s not recommended that you share with anyone, or at least anyone you like or care about. The multiplayer is terrible. | Pro – You can share with up to 6 good friends with half to give to a less deserving friend, maybe one that has wronged you in some unspeakable manner, like making you play Geist. |
| Taste | |
| Con – Comes in only one flavour: plasticy with a sharp, bloody aftertaste. | Pro – Timbits taste great and come in a variety of flavours like blueberry, apple fritter honey dip. |
| Comparability | |
| Con – Does not go well with anything, especially your Gamecube. | Pro – Goes well with coffee, tea or any other warm beverage. |
| Graphics | |
| Con – Even for its time, its graphics are blocky. It also suffers from a lot of frame rate issues. Four-player split screen is unbearable. | Pro – They come in full, stunningly realistic 3-D. Depending on your visual acuity there’s a rich colour palate and no frame rate issues! |
| Box Art | |
| Con – The cover is full of videogame clichés, generic evil guy’s face, helicopters and Dr. Manhattan look-alike in the center. | Pro – The box features cute bubble lettering, bright colours and scrumptious looking pictures. |
| Lasting Value | |
| Con – For a 94¢ investment you get a game you’ll never play and case that won’t even fit a standard CD/DVD. You can’t even use the disc as a coaster; the hole in the middle still lets condensation through. | Pro – 7 Chocolate Glazed Timbits contains a whopping 490 calories*, valuable energy you can use to save a puppy, rescue some orphans or slap a copy of Avatar: The Game out of the hands of some poor soul standing in the checkout line with it in Wal-Mart (trust me, he’ll thank you later). |
| Originality | |
| Con – We all know its just a rip-off of Messiah. | Pro – While just like every other little doughnut ball out there. It at least has a clever name. |
Conclusion
So there you have it, 7 ½ totally shuts out Geist with a 7-0 win. Stay tuned for the next LSR Head-to-Head review!
*Calculated using the nutritional information available on www.timhortons.com
Discussion
No comments for “Geist VS 7 1/2 Timbits – A Head-to-Head Review”